Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Needing More

I married young, 18 years old, wanting nothing more than a husband and kids. College for me was not even in the picture. At that age you really don't understand what it takes to survive. I just knew that I loved my husband and wanted to be with him always. Right away we decided to start our family. I do not in anyway regret this. I wouldn't advise anyone else to do it this way, but this was how it happened for us. Brady, and I have been married for a little over 8 years now and I've been feeling a little out of sorts for awhile. Our children are now 7 and 3 and don't need me as much as they used to. Kayleigh, will be statrting pre-school this year (I think) and, Dalton, will be going into second grade.
Lately, ok for awhile now, I have been feeling empty, found myself wanting more and feel like I'm living a life with no direction.Most of the time I question my existance. I know I'm here to be Dalton and Kayleighs mommy.And I'm here to be Brady's partner BUT isn't there more?Don't I need to do more? I stay at home day in and day out taking care of the house, doing laundry,cooking etc etc. I'M READY FOR MORE! There are so many things that I want for myself and my family. I have been a stay at home mom/ wife for 8 years now and frankly to tell you the truth I'm just tired of it. I have an amazing husband that gives me everything I want and need. I couldn't ask for bettter, BUT I can give them better. I love my children and my husband, but find myself needing and wanting more. Most of the people around me are doing something with their life or at least trying. I know, most people say being a mom is the greatest job in the world. I agree in some ways and in others I totally disagree. I feel like myself, my husband and my kids are lacking because of my not working. I've worked before but nothing has really ever worked out to be what I WANTED. I have always wanted to go to school and get a degree. I want a good paying job and I want to relieve my husband of some of the pressure that he feels to take care of us. It's a big job that he has and even bigger because of the profession that he has chosen. We have never wanted for anything but we both find ourselves always wanting better and wanting more. I see nothing wrong with that as long as we work hard to get the things that we want. I've said, "Oh, I'm going to college." and have never followed through with it. I've been so scared that "I can't do this" and I have let that fear overtake and really control my life. This time I am serious. I have never been more serious in all of my life. I know that God will give me the stength and the courage to do what I need to do for myself and my family. Yesterday, I filled out my fafsa and an online application to UAM. I am going to take my asset test March 3rd and from there I will have to talk to someone to see what the next steps to take would be. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that God guides and leads me in the way that HE wants me to go. I only want this if it's GODS will for my life.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."(Psalm 37:4)
…He has our best interest at heart…He is always with us…He never fails us…Delight yourself in the Lord…He will lead you…He will guide you…He will direct you…He will enlightened you…"In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."(Prov.3:6)…If you are looking for direction in your life…acknowledge Him…He gives good counsel…God is our delight…He loves us…He protects us…If you are going through a rough place…call on Him…don't aimlessly seek direction…call on Him…don't dwell on hurts…dwell on the all encompassing power of God…choose to be happy…make it a definite choice…dwell on His provision…dwell on His help…dwell on His promises…delight yourself in Him…Let these thoughts sink into your being…remember He is on our side…rejoice…we can not lose..He sees us through…When you feel a wave of despair approaching…call on Him…He will lift you up…whenever you are afraid…put your trust in Him…Jesus is able to turn things around…He tells us over and over again in His word to fear not…He tells us He is with us…He tells us the enemy can't triumph over us…God is our defense…Trust God with your life…watch what He is doing in your life…You will cry as the psalmist did in Psalm66:5 "Come and see the works of God,He is awesome in His doing towards the sons of men."…Nothing is to hard for the Lord…His power is truly awesome…Amen

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's Day

The kids woke up and wanted their valentines so I got them out and gave them to them. They loved everything that they got. I decided this year that I wasn't getting them any candy and no stuffed animals. My mom gives them enough candy so they didn't go without! Anywho, Dalton, got a couple of movies. He wanted Madagascar 2 and Space Buddies, so thats what he got along with his big guitar vday balloon. I like to spend the same amount or around about so of course, Kayleigh, got more things than, Dalton. She got 2 sets to go to her My little Pony "Ponyville" set, a new "darbie", and a blanket and pillow set. She loves soft blankets and carries them around a lot. She also got a couple balloons. They go crazy over balloons for some reason. I've always loved balloons too, so I understand. hehe

My brother called, Brady, Friday night and wanted him to go fishing until about lunch time. I couldn't tell him no because I know how much he LOVES fishing and he rarely gets the chance to go with my brother. Well, Brady, came walking up the steps around 12:45 with a dozen pink and red roses, balloons and a gift bag. I ,of course, jumped up and opened the door. Pink and red roses are my FAVORITE! In my gift bag a set of my fav scent candles and a fragrance diffuser! I was super happy and already on cloud 9. I started putting everything up and gave him a hug when he pulled out another box and said, "Oh,I almost forgot." I opened it and found this necklace and pendant that I had been wanting! I have NO IDEA how he knew I wanted it because I never told him. I was so happy!! To top things off he arranged for mom and dad to keep the kids and he fixed a wonderful steak dinner. He grilled steak, made baked potatoes, sauteed mushrooms and salad. It was FANTASTIC! I walked in the kitchen after he was all done setting everything up and was just amazed. He had it all set up so beautiful. Wine glasses, candles etc. He had XM love station playing and it was all just VERY romantic!! My night was great!!!

Bradys vday present wasn't as "romantic"! lol I got him a 6 pack of Budlight lol a box of millionaires and Call of Duty world at war for xbox 360. He was very happy with his gift!

My day was absolutely PERFECT!!! My husband is so amazing! God has truely blessed me. I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else!!

Here are a few pics from our day:)